I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
