You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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