I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
