coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
