Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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