girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
