At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
