Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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