youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
