using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
