i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
