I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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