Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
