what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize