we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
