No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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