no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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