She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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