If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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