fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
