So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
