What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
