But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
