Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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