woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
