My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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