Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
