just come out here and I will go home with you...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
