I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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