She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
try to milk me bitch
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