just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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