capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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