Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
