Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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