I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
