Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
