So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
