i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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