haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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