white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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