I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
