Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
