they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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