I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
