Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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