Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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