Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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