so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
