At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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