dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
