Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
