I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
