I love black thongs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
how drunk are you?
Several
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
