well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
