the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
