Apparently you make a good broom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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